I was born two days late, I didn't want to leave the womb. When my mom finally squeezed my big head out of her, I was like here we go, there is no way back now. And I've been living in that mindset every since.
My grandpa faxed my name to my mom, it means vibrant and energetic and alive, all the exceptions and wishes, it is a very thoughtful name. I would say I grew up in a pretty artistic family environment, my grandpa was a screenwriter for TV shows, my grandma was a fine art professor before they retired and my mom is a journalist, there were always books and paintings everywhere. I remember visiting my grandparents on the weekend and raid her wardrobe. There was this red dotted scarf I loved so much, I would put it around my neck and dance for hours, then she would teach me how to draw.
I grew up in Shanghai, China, people often ask me is there any big differences between Shanghai and New York, but to be honest it feels the same. However, what I miss the most are the food, on my way back home from school, I would buy street food that sometimes make me sick with my pocket money. And we have a dialect, it is slightly different from Mandarin, like Cantonese. I miss speaking it, after moving to California in high school, I barely have the chance to talk to someone with this dialect. Once when I was in a Shanghainese restaurant I heard someone speaking the dialect, my eyes light up, I was looking around trying to find whoever that was. When I heard my hometown language in public, I just have the urge to hug them and whisper in their ears, "I understand you" then release them back to the world.
As I grow up, because of my mom's job, we had to move around a lot. Different schools, different apartments, it wasn't a problem to me, it seems like I am adaptable to this kind of lifestyle already and I am really glad that I don't get attached too easily. My mom always taught me to pack light whenever we go, I learned how to organize my priority and not to ask for unnecessary stuff at a young age. I can take care of myself, like Pippi Longstocking, I had to act as my parent sometimes, I would tell myself to go to bed and stop eating the whole bag of Oreos. I learned how to keep myself entertained, either drawing or reading, I will always manage to find things to keep me busy. It was really hard to have a long term friend when you had to move every few years but I cannot complain, I get to experience different cultures and always curious about my surroundings. Being able to travel and be exposed to local activities bordered my horizon, when other children are sitting at home watching TV, I get to see it with my own eyes. It is the benefit of being the daughter of a journalist and something special about me.
After we moved to California, my mom was incredibly busy at that period, sometimes I don't even see her for a few weeks. Being in a new environment, loneness was unpreventable, I tried to find something to occupy myself with and I learned how to surf. I would drive with my friends and go to the beach during summer almost every day, that was the best summer of my life. The moment I hop on the surfboard, everything is so slow and soft, the breezes behind my ears and how they stroke my hair, the smell of the ocean, the marvelous sunset and all the giggles with my friends are the memories that I am going to remember for the rest of my life. We would drive to the mountains at night and eat an animal style chess fries after that. Nothing like a Los Angeles's sunset, pink sky with palm trees were dreamy enough for the background of my teenage years.
I try to enjoy the moment as I live, as I said, there is no way back to the past. I get scared of a new environment and want to go back to the womb all the time. However growing up in an unconventional way taught me how to protect myself, how to self-decline, and how to find the optimistic, bright part of life.